I’m say Georgia
Georgia
A song of you
Comes as sweet and clear
As moonlight through the pines
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you
I said Georgia,
Ooh Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you
Georgia,
Georgia,
No peace, no peace I find
Just this old, sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind
I said just an old sweet song,
Keeps Georgia on my mind.
Coming once again to you readers of few, I am Garic Tinsley and this is my blog. What a terrible intro huh? Sometimes I can have that burst of creativity and BOOM there’s a intro you spooge yourself over. Not today ladies and gents. I come with a question. A very serious question, and I want a serious answer to it. I have very mixed feelings right now and I don’t like it. So onward ho, as doofenshmirtz says “Time for a back story” (I don’t know if he says that so piss off).
I was dating this lady who was freaking awesome (yes we were together for like 3 weeks) but I felt something. We were in a play together, and she and I kind of just started…dating. I had no intention of getting attached, did that once, didn’t work out. Somewhere down the line though, I mean shit, something happened. You may say “dude 3 weeks” and to that I say “fuck you, something was there.” After about 2 weeks I tell her the secret of which I regret to this very day. And I am pissed at myself that if happened. She then proceeds to say “bye” (more or less). Devastating, but after some talking we are back together. Happy again. Today, or wait yesterday it’s 1:30 at this point in time, she says basically donesky, no chance, later, it’s been fun, this was a learning experience, etc. I am depressed. I am pissed. I am confused. And as I’m sitting in a recliner in Springfield at my brother’s apartment I am listening to the magic of Ray Charles, which leads me to the lyrics. They are from “Georgia on My Mind.” This song is beautiful, but listening to it pissed me off to no end for the first time in my life, and Mr. Charles I apologize for it. You make beautiful music, good sir.
You may ask, “Garic, sir, why is this”? I respond saying, “Where is my Georgia”? I see those around me find someone who just accepts them for who they are, and maybe I am just feeling left out. Time and time again I have never been ‘good enough’ for some reason or the other. Will this cycle ever stop? I may have made my share of dumb mistakes, but judge me by me now, not by stupid decisions I made in the past.
I just feel like there is no one. I mean, to those who know me, they can testify that I am not of the mainstream. I don’t interact with people well. I could care less of what people thought of me. And in social settings with crowds I feel totally alone. I have emotional extremes. Maybe this is me just being depressed. If so at least you have something to read now. I am just tired of having to hide what I’ve done. Why can’t people just learn to accept a past, is it so bad (this directed to the people who know the story) that I am who my mistakes made me? And I may have made a mistake but if it took me that mistake to make me into such the person I am today, then you know what? I’m damn glad I made that mistake.
This is not a cry for help, this is not a cry for pity. If one were to respond I don’t want to hear the “Oh it’s ok,” “Oh, everything’s darkest before the dawn,” “You’re and amazing guy” blahblahblah blah. or any cliched answers for that matter. I asked a question Where is My Georgia? And as I write this I don’t think I even conveyed the feelings that I am experiencing. So let me sum this up by saying I’m hurt, pissed, sad, confused, frustrated, depressed, cursing myself that I let my guard down with such a time. And to think one mistake constituted this post. Isn’t weird, Karma, such is the flow of the universe.
This is Garic signing off. This is probably the shittiest writing I have ever created, but I’m depressed right now so don’t judge me. I just needed to get this off my chest so I don’t go postal in algebra. That is all I’m tired now goodnight, good fight, and…..Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
November 28, 2011 at 5:39 am |
*Let me preface my comment by saying that as far as the writing goes, I was highly impressed. Well done sir. Very introspective.
Whatever I write as a response to this is going to sound cliched. Fuck it, though, I shall try.
You said it yourself, if your mistake defines you, and you’re happy with who you are, what exactly is the problem? You don’t need another to tell you how ‘amazing’ you are, how ‘cool’ or how ‘smart’ you are. You just are. That’s the beauty of self-knowledge. (All of this coming from a guy who was totally fucked up for a year and a half before finding another lady, so take it at face value.)
All I am saying is don’t put the idea of being happy solely into the realm of a lady-friend. Happiness is found in many places. Music, writing, playing the guitar, reading, etc. Eventually you’ll just fall into your ‘Georgia.’ Ease off the gas and relax, this too shall pass.
Duder